Analyze This...

Prior to actually being considered "grown" and having a full time job, certain things regarding life I was just not privy to. Consider it my naivete, my lack of exposure, whatever. I just did not pay attention to certain things. I STILL don't pay attention to many things, however, with growth comes new lessons.

One thing I have learned throughout the years is that many,if not all of us, are negatively effected by past events. THE GIRLS and I sometimes laugh at how men allow circumstances from their past to hinder their future, yet, we are guilty of the same. It is easy to laugh about the man who had his heart broken in the 7th grade, therefore, he no longer expresses himself to women and chooses to be cold, emotionally detached and just "not right". It is equally as easy for us to point the finger at an ex, and determine that his reasoning for being noncommittal is because his parents got divorced and his father took up an entire new family with a woman half his age. At times, it is so easy for us to point the finger at everyone else, but ourselves.

However, as we have matured, most of THE GIRLS have become open and honest about seeking assistance with dealing with past and/or current circumstances that effect us. I can't help but realize that most of THE GIRLS who have decided to attend therapy, did so to improve relationships with the ones they love. This includes relationships with husbands, boyfriends, mothers, brothers, etc., etc. What I have learned is this: Seeking therapy is no longer taboo. It is the direct opposite. Going to therapy is necessary for both women and men.

THE GIRLS have dealt with issues involving divorce, suicide committed by friends and loved ones, infidelity, absentee fathers, fear of losing their fathers to death, physical and emotional abuse, assault, cantankerous relationships with their parents, love lost, stress from their jobs, etc. You name it, most of the women in my life have sought help from professionals to make themselves and their living situation BETTER.

Why do I act this way in dating ? Why can't I commit to one profession ? Why am I a commitment phobe in relationships ? Why do I let people walk over me ? Why am I a control freak ? Why was I touched inappropriately ? Why do I choose the wrong men ? Why do I have a drinking problem ? Why do I not have a close relationship with my family ? Why is religion such an issue for me ?

I believe it to be detrimental to any person who chooses not to address life defining moments that may prove to be a hinderance with growth. As we mature and become responsible for ourselves, our families and our colleagues, it is necessary to address and seek solutions for a better life.

We all have our shit, most of us are just ready, willing and damned near determined to get rid of it. For the sake of our future !