Build Girl...Build !!

I am amazed by how many people call me "daring", "brave" and "fabulous".

Well, I can believe the fabulous part :), but when new and potential clients learn of my story of being an attorney and being a sole practitioner at that, I am often times met with plenty of compliments about what it is I do. In all actuality, I kinda just fell into being an entrepreneur. Word to Pastor Waldrond, I never wanted this.

Though I have been semi-successful in my practice as an solo practitioner, I also long for something else. I have many talents outside of practicing law and I am constantly complimented on these talents as well. Compliments from friends led me to starting this blog, and other compliments from friends led me to embark on a new business venture with one of THE GIRLS. I also recently decided to participate as an "apprentice" at a marketing and event planning company. I have been so excited with the work I am doing there, I have to remind myself to do my legal work!

I know so many successful young women who have mastered their skill sets either as doctors, marketing managers, mothers, consultants and production assistants. I also know that 90% of these same successful women also have other interests that have developed in their hearts. I hear the same stories all the time. "Man, if I were rich, I would be a _______________ instead of doing what I do now." or "Girl, if I had time to fully develop this art, I would start a business doing ____________." My favorite statement heard last week was, "You know, I often fantasize of an entirely different life. I would actually prefer to be an __________, instead of a ________ but I just don't know where to begin."

So where should you begin ?

I am not going to get into all of the legal and accounting endeavors that should be taken to establish a successful business entity in your particular jurisdiction. I will however tell you that your gifts should be fostered for growth and success.

One of THE GIRLS is a doctor who also happens to make beautiful jewelry. She transformed a broken strand of my late grandmother's pearls into a gorgeous necklace and matching bracelet. When I saw the finished product I was almost drawn to tears.

Another one of THE GIRLS is a museum consultant who has a penchant for writing. She devours books, sometimes 3 a day and has signed up for writing classes to further develop this art into a potential money making endeavor.

Another one of THE GIRLS is also a doctor who is a wonderful dessert maker. Whenever there is a birthday or reason to celebrate, you bet your bottom dollar she is making the cake or sweet treats.

Finally, one of THE GIRLS happens to be a fashion production manager who has so many talents.... she is almost exempt from this post. Honey, when she gets the itch to produce something, she goes for it with such fervor it is ridiculous.

The point of this post is to let you know that if you harbor a desire within to create something outside of your comfort level and "formal" skill set... DO IT ! If you are constantly complimented on a talent.... DEVELOP and FOSTER IT ! Finally, if you don't know where to start, just start from the place that created this talent...your heart. Your prayers, your friends and your persistence to do what you love will lead you to a land of success.

I've Got To Stop Drinking...

As I sit at my desk "working", I actually just laughed at myself for having the craziest thought pop through my head.

RANDOM ASS CRAZY THOUGHT: "I need to hurry up and get pregnant so I can stop drinking so much!"

Extremely crazy and random right ?

I HATE HANGOVERS !!! They drain every bit of energy, life and productivity from your body. It literally takes a full day of sloshing around, laying down, going to the bathroom, re-hydrating, etc., just to get all this LIQ out of your system.....and when you have to work, you can forget it... your day is wasted. I am happy to report that today, as I nurse a hangover, I sent out a resume for a potential job lead !! I can't bring myself to do the other 20+ things on my to-do-list, but the fact that I emailed a resume...oh...and checked up on my gossip blogs means that my day was not totally in vain.

So let me tell ya...

Last night, the party goddesses were in motion and my friend's birthday dinner was abruptly moved from some shamming ass restaurant to one of THE GIRLS' apartment. I was extremely frustrated by the location change, being that I took two trains and a bus (albeit going to the WRONG crosstown section) to get to the restaurant. While on the bus I get a text about the venue change, get frustrated and hopped in a cab heading uptown. I decided to put on my happy face for the birthday girl despite my frustration.

Anywho, my frustration and hunger quickly make way for laughing, dancing, having cocktails and being amongst THE GIRLS and our 3 trusted male friends. Thank GOD for cute men in Harlem. The female to male ratio escalated by one mass text sent out from the resident flirt in our crew.

For some reason, I decided to drink cognac out of a white wine glass, coupled with a big old strawberry from the birthday cake and WHAM!!...the festivities begin !!! One cocktail becomes two, becomes three, becomes "ok, I am done for the night....gotta get back on the train to head to NJ". Whatsonever, one of THE GIRLS (a doctor at that), takes my wine glass and refills it with straight cognac on ice...with the strawberry still in it. Ok, one more drink. One more drink, lots of dancing and laughing leads to, "Hey...let's go to APT...its FREE and they have good music." Woo hoo....

It's all fun and games until you start drunk texting.....

We get to APT and magically, two more cocktails of cognac appear in front of me. "Here honey....drink up" is what I am told from the other "responsible" doctor in our crew.

Are these bitches trying to kill me ???

Long story short, we dance some more... we laugh some more...we cocktail it up WAY more and I wake up in one of THE GIRLS' beds in Harlem asking myself, "Where the fuck am I ?"

My phone is buzzing.... "Oh shit, I forgot I sent those texts last night !!" I quickly apologize with a reply "OMG.. I was drunk texting... I am an emotional hazard right now...disregard whatever I said." He understands... he ALWAYS understands... *sigh*....

My girl whose bed I woke up in was out of town, so I text her, "I got drunk last night, woke up in your bed....needless to say...I am about to be in your closet as well". I had a 2:00 appointment in the city and didn't have time to run home to get dressed. I am at the office now looking like a hybrid of the both of us. I have on a Michelle Obama wrap dress, pearls, some leggings and my funky boots I bought in Italy.

My day has been shot.... no productivity here. I am still hungover and my only solution to this problem that plagues me more often than it should is to "hurry up and get pregnant".

Ahahahaa... I make myself laugh at times !!!!

The Evil Spirit

It haunts you when you least expect it....

It takes days, months, even years to get it out of your system...

It wreaks havoc on your thoughts, plans, goals for as long as you let it...

It loves you, it hates you, it makes you crazy, stupid and the total opposite of the reasonable adult your parents raised...

It... is the the EVIL SPIRIT...

None of that exorcist, Linda Blair stuff going on...per se. However, the evil spirit is that man....ooooohhhhhh that man. The evil spirit is that man that both you and your girls knew was NOT the one for you. The evil spirit is that man who had you doing stupid shit, like actually believing the ridiculous lies that always came out of his mouth. The evil spirit is that man, who no matter how many times you have sworn him off, he ALWAYS seems to call, text or literally just show up after you have had that third cocktail and your Lucifer Lutes are raging.

MAN, I have had about 2 true to life evil spirits. The #1 spot of evil spirits is still to this day held by a man I affectionately called "Cocky Fine Bastard". This man...WOOOO... this man. CFB was just that. He was cocky, he was fine and he was a bastard. He made my 20's so thrilling. He would throw limes from across the bar if he saw any man talking to me. He would buy over 100 roses from the "Rose Man" in the club when I wouldn't speak to him. He would dance on stage at any given event like he was Tupac. Did I mention how fine he was ?

All this excitement, drama and pure sexual tension was so grand back then...but now... I would run for the HILLS if he ever came near me. Thank God for being stupid in your 20's, so you can learn from those mistakes and strive for wisdom in your 30's and beyond.

The funny thing is ALL of THE GIRLS have evil spirits. There was "Nolan", the professional football player who broke my girl's heart, got married to someone else without telling her, and then broke into my girl's apartment when she would no longer talk to him. The cops were called and charges were filed !! Oh, let's not forget "Shawn", the unassuming nerdy looking Casanova who had women all across the U.S., one of whom my girl had the pleasure of meeting by accident at Mi Luna. The most consistent evil spirit of them all is "Joshua", the mean preacher man....man, I can't even talk about him without getting upset. He is the king of popping up to wreak havoc on one of THE GIRLS. The thing about evil spirits is that they do NOT go quietly. You would think marriage would keep them away...HAIL NAWL.... you would think that police reports and restraining orders would make them give it up...AWW NAWW.... you would think that 5+ years of not seeing you would make the memories go away...not on their part.

My biggest lesson learned with the evil spirits was .... it was all fun and games in your 20's. To put up with some of the shenanigans those fools displayed at this age would be downright ridiculous.

So ladies, look around.... are you still entertaining an evil spirit ?

In the words of Ray Parker, Jr. "Who You Gonna Call ???" (Just don't call him !!!)

But She Smiled At Me !

I honestly enjoy having conversations with my MFs (Male Friends) regarding the dating dance that we do as adults. Some things I play dumb with, you know, act as if I am not apprised to certain male activities and the consequences and meanings thereof.

However, I must say that one of my past conversations left me puzzled about how men view a woman's advances or the lack thereof.

I was out on the town with one of the THE GIRLS. We attended a happy hour that one of our MFs puts together weekly in the city. One of the GREATEST things about this recession is that I am no longer so quick to head to the bar to get a drink. Pre - recession, that was my first stop... the bar to get a drink for me and THE GIRLS. However, during this recession I have learned to be patient and wait on the drinks to come to me.... and BOY, who knew ?!?!?!?!

So, me and one of THE GIRLS are sitting at the bar, chit chatting and having drinks so graciously paid for by a cutie sitting next to her. SIDEBAR: (Said cutie didn't even want conversation... MAJOR PLUS....he just bought the cocktails, told us to have a nice time, then he went on about his business...MAJOR PLUS) Anywho, while sitting there, laughing, talking, sipping, you know... doing what GIRLFRIENDS do, we were almost instantaneously swarmed by other gentlemen in the establishment. We made conversation with some, smiled at others, flipped our hair, laughed, etc.

A gentleman in his mid 20's approached me. I was the LEAST bit interested, but decided to be nice. He said that he worked in television, lived in Brooklyn, yadda, yadda, yadda... Oh my word, he was saying some of the MOST ridiculous things that men in their 20's say. I believe he even asked me what my sign was and also offered the most common rebuttal known to mankind, "What Your Man Got Ta Do With Me?". My homegirl was sitting next to me, making small talk with another gentleman. He appeared to be about mid to late 30's, professional, suited and booted... just her type. From the outside looking in it appeared that they were having a nice conversation and they were interested in what the other had to say.

Thinking nothing of it, I complimented the 30+ year old guy on his necktie. It was a subtle, "I really like your tie, it's nice." BOY !!! Why did I do that ? It was as if bells and whistles went off in his head and at that moment everything got weird. His eyes zeroed in on me with that "Ladies Man ..Come Hither" look. The tone in his voice went from "Barack Obama" to "Goldie from The Mack" and he literally attempted to flirt with me RIGHT in front of my girlfriend with whom he had been talking to for 30+ minutes. He bought her a drink, smiled in her face and I believe he even asked for her phone number. My one LITTLE comment changed everything, even his pursuits.

My girl noticed it as well and proffered a, "Hey...what the heck !!! You were just flirting with me and now you have the audacity to attempt to flirt with my friend right in front of me ?"

He responded, "BUT SHE SMILED AT ME ...."

For real ????

When I told this story to one of my MFs, I explained how flabbergasted we were that this man would be so rude to come on to me, after he had attempted to kick it to my girl. He simply replied, "You are young, and apparently you don't know shit ... a smile and a compliment ???.... you better be glad he didn't try to take you home.. it doesn't take much..."

Apparently, I AM naive and "don't know shit" ....