21 Questions

I'm in the office, listening to Anita Baker on Pandora and skimming through Facebook. I just finished eating lunch, so I have decided to take an extra 15 minutes before I get to billing hours again.

Anywho, skimming Facebook and I run into a post from one of my exes. He and I have a mutual FB friend, so I click on it and learn that my ex has a blog as well. I started to read a few entries and some kind of way started to think about him, his aura, personality, screw ups, etc. One thing I always cherished about him was his creativity. Those with massive amounts of creativity are, in my opinion, the craziest people on earth. Sometimes they lose themselves in the imagination and fantasy of colors and what ifs to the point reality is an option.

As I mused over the good times I remembered with him, I thought "now why did we break up ?" ... then an "oh yeah, he was noncommital and confused" was the follow up. Instantly I clicked to top right bold "X" to close that window. How appropriate.

I started to think about a conversation I had with NGF last night. We had just left the movie Shutter Island (he watched it, I slept off the remaining hangover I had from DADDY'S GIRL'S birthday party the night before). We were having dinner and talking about relationships. I was telling him about one of my girls who is dating a guy who isn't very nice to her. He yells, has anger management issues...typical dick wad behavior. I asked NGF if he had ever been nasty or mean to a girl before. It's hard for me to imagine him being so, because he is the sweetest guy to me. He never speaks in anger, treats me with respect. He is my gentle giant.

Once presented with my question, he took a long pause and a deep breath and said, "Yes, I was not nice to a couple of females. I wasn't nasty or talked down to them or out of their names. I was just dismissive and distant. Whenever I found myself going there, not offering explanations for my actions I always ended the relationship. I didn't want to be "that guy". But, yes...I have been mean to women before."

Once again, hard for me to imagine. I then began to question, "I wonder why you never tried that shit with me. What makes me different that you don't participate in such behavior. Do you think I show you how to treat me ?"

He answers the question. We converse more about relationships and I am still a bit confused.

I have seen it before and heard it before. Many of the THE GIRLS are dating men who are WONDERFUL to them. We have entered an area of our lives where hearing and most of all living stories of men not worth your time is not an option any more. It's hard to imagine FASHIONISTA GIRL'S boyfriend being a prick to anybody, because he is a gentleman around us and he treats her like a queen. It's hard for me to even begin to imagine NGF being a dick to someone. The way he embraces me, encourages me, and even challenges me is beautiful. How could someone so thoughtful and nice today, be a former jerk ?

I wondered if my ex is now in a place where he is no longer dismissive, cold and afraid to commit.

I wonder if there is a woman hugged up with him on a couch every night, baffled that he could have been a prick in his past relationships.