No Ma'am

I've always been considered one of the homegirls. As a child, I was the only female cousin amongst my male cousins, so everything they did, I was expected to do. If they jumped out of a tree, PARTY GIRL was expected to jump out of a tree. If my cousins had a dirt fight in my grandmother's garden, PARTY GIRL was expected to throw dirt as well. If my male cousins wanted to smoke cigarettes, PARTY GIRL was expected to GO GET the cigarettes from my uncle's room AND smoke the cigarettes with the boys.

As I got older, I was still considered "one of the homies" amongst my male friends. When my homeboys took shots of E&J before partying, I was expected to stand toe to toe with these 6 foot something homies and take the same amount of shots.

My homeboys talked to me about everything and allowed me to participate in just about everything they participated in. I was one of the guys and I appreciated the ability to hang with THE GIRLS doing girly stuff and then being able to drink cognac and talk shit with the homeboys. A little testosterone is always a good thing, even if its just the homie.

Ahhh... but alas...

I have learned as we get older, I AM NOT THE HOMEGIRL...

To NGF, I am a woman .... who is not allowed to participate in any activity with the homeboys.... none, zip, zilch... NADA !!!

To my homeboys, I am cool and all, but when they want it to just be men, eventhough I can drink them all under the table and their stories (ahem...lies about debauchery) don't faze me one bit... I AM STILL A WOMAN AND NOT ALLOWED !!

Who knew this behavior, once exhibited all through pre-school and elementary of "no girls allowed" would rear its ugly head again in my 30's ? I was extrememly offended all through this NFL season when NGF would not allow me to come to his linebrother's house with him to watch some games. I mean, he and I would ALWAYS watch Monday Night Football together, so what's the deal with me watching it with him and 6 more people ? FASHIONISTA's boyfriend would allow some of THE GIRLS (translation: beer drinking, shit talking GIRLS) to crash his neighborhood spot to partake of beer and football during the playoffs, but come to find out when we thought FASHIONISTA had no desire to come, her boyfriend really didn't want her there. I mean, she came to the NFC finals game because he kinda felt obligated to let her come, but he had the same stance as NGF, "NO MA'AM...no girlfriends allowed." I slightly let NGF off the hook. FASHIONISTA and her boyfriend are our prototype of relationships, he LUH-HUVS her !! So if he didn't want her around during football, then it MUST be a universal rule.

Right now, before the Superbowl commences, I am sitting in my linesister's chair with my feet propped up, sipping a Southern Comfort and tea. NGF ain't called me all day, and honestly I don't think I will get a phone call until this game and the hour post game shit talking is done...or maybe not until tomorrow.

KC GIRL is hosting a Superbowl party and about 30 people have rsvp'd. I got a BBM from one of our dear MFs, he is ALWAYS around us and we enjoy his company. So he BBMS me and asks me for the address to SUNSHINE and FASHIONISTA GIRLS'. I send it to him, but I am confused. I ask, "don't you mean, what is the address to KC GIRLS house ?" He replies, "No, I am getting up with FASHIONISTA's boyfriend before we head over there."

Then the lightbulb goes off.

I reply, "Are ya'll meeting to watch the game in silence first ? :)"

He replies, "LOL I guess you can say that."

and with that...NGF has been let off the hook... again...

Even the homeboys don't want to be around us while football is on..

and with that, some dude just walked in wearing mom jeans... time for a refill !!





But wait on it, "Mom Jeans" just told his wife to go to the other apartment that is co-hosting the party right next door since that is designated the talking room.


The room just drew QUIET !!! ("Oh NO the hell he didn't")

HILARIOUS !!!

Et tu "Mom Jeans" ??? .... Et tu ???