I can't say my fooleywang antics are as bad as they were in my 20's. I can also happily report that I no longer feel that I need to hurry up and get pregnant so I can stop drinking so much. However, this past week has been one of the most stupidest (yes I said it) and irresponsible weeks in alcoholic consumption since I was studying for the New York Bar Exam in Miami five years ago.
PARTY GIRL...that be me.... had a rough week last week. I was stressing about hearing from a potential employer, my finances were giving me the gas face and my house was a mess. So my best way of dealing was to party !!! I rounded up one of our trusted MFs, JUJU GIRL and DADDY'S GIRL and we hit a Happy Hour on Friday evening. The drinks were 2-for-1 and I was soooo ready to get my unwind on. It didn't help that prior to making it to the spot I was wasting time at DADDY'S GIRL's apartment having my private cocktail hour with her Grey Goose. I am a cognac gal, but decided to consume vodka because "it tends to hit me harder". FAMOUS LAST WORDS !!!
Anywho, the event was festive. Not too much talent in the men department though which didn't help since I was man scouting for DADDY'S GIRL. I was already buzzed, but told JUJU to order me some cocktails before the 2-for-1 ended. We cocktail it up, chat it up and dance it up. From what I remember of the evening, I danced with a man who looked like Osama Bin Laden and also another man who looked like Big Pun then went home around 10:30 pm. No biggie right ? WRONG !!!
I didn't fully understand the magnitude of that evening until two days later. It took all of Saturday to recover and we all met up on Sunday to watch football and that is where I got the recap. I'll share the details later.
Fast forward to last night. I attend yet another Haitian Relief event, however, this thang was JUMPIN !!! You hear me ? The Hennessy was free, all of my favorite DJs were spinning and the place was packed out in all its festive glory. I dance, I laugh, I cocktail it up, I am home and in my bed by midnight. Still no biggie right ? WRONG !!
Below you will find a list of ALL the things I did while under the influence of alcohol this week. The good news is I am still alive. So here goes...
PARTY GIRL GETS WASTED AND DID THE FOLLOWING:
1) Backed that thang up on Big Pun in the middle of the dance floor. Like, "face down, ass up...that's the way we like to _____" type backing that thang up.
2) Found a dime bag of weed and some money in the ladies restroom. I left the money and took the weed !!
3) Texted my NGF with this message: "You make me happy....now bring your ass into the city so I can go home !"
4) Took multiple pictures double fisting vodka cocktails and making faces like Snooki from Jersey Shore. I did not see said pictures until that Sunday and was like "OMG ...I don't remember ANY of this !!"
5) Hooked my girl up with some random ass dude at the bar. Yeah, the problem is she lives in Florida and he is (I have come to find out) weird. I hope she doesn't call him.
6) Spent ALL day Saturday throwing up....water and pickles.... all OVER my house. Couldn't make it to the bathroom fast enough...ewww
7) Told the bouncers at the Haitian event last night that one of my former flames was a sponsor of the event just so he could get in. "Dude, if you don't let him in that is so your ass. He's a freaking sponsor." He was SOOOO not a sponsor...ahaha
8) Allegedly slapped said former flame across the face while at the party. I don't remember doing this, but he swears I did.
9) Texted NGF, "I miss you....you better be glad I am nice to you. I ain't nice to everybody...now come pick me up". (I have come to realize that anytime I am around my ex or attractive men for that matter, I ALWAYS reach out to NGF. For safety reasons. I refuse to mess up this relationship over some bullshit !!)
10) Seriously, accidentally called my former flame by NGFs name. Oh that REALLY pissed him off. I think he was more pissed at that than he was by my cutting him off everytime he talked about when we dated. I was like, "dude, we never dated...that was not dating..we were just keeping company or something, because now everytime I am around you or I see you, I am constantly reminded about what a relationship is. I have a relationship now, I don't know what that was we were doing."
Bonus:
11) Found said dime bag of weed in the back pocket of the jeans this morning. Thank GOD I didn't smoke it. I just took a drug test yesterday...PARTY GIRL has a job now suckas....
Time to get my shit together..... again....
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