I was listening to The Michael Baisden radio show this afternoon and the topic of the hour was "Falling In Love With A Married Person, What's That About ?"
Taboo at best and oh so common to say the least.
Infidelity in marriage is nothing new. We all have girlfriends who have had to deal with an unfaithful husband. We all know of girlfriends whose fathers stepped out on their mothers. We also know of friends who have stepped out on their husband or wife.
Kim Zolciak, of Real Housewives of Atlanta, appears to be the MOST brazen and delusional participant in an extra-marital affair. When she speaks of her relationship with Big Poppa, her engagement, his allegedly leaving his wife, I can't help but feel sorry for her. To quote the great NeNe Leakes, "Is your wig squeezing your head too tight heifer ??"
Oh vey...this is going to sting....
Well, I must admit that several of THE GIRLS have dealt with married men, willingly, knowingly and also haphazardly. I hear the stories ALL of the time. Some of THE GIRLS have dated men who lived with their wives, yet claimed the marriage was over. Some of THE GIRLS have dated married men and did not know they were married. Some of THE GIRLS have openly flirted with married men, with no regard to the ring on the left hand. Some of THE GIRLS have dated men who were married, yet separated with no sight of a divorce near. Also, some of THE GIRLS have dated married men who were in the throws of an ugly divorce and stuck it out until they were "free".
Point blank. PERIOD. Dating a married man, having an emotional affair with a married man, sleeping with a married man is WRONG.
But I understand.....
My first run in with a married man happened at the age of 20. I was in Cancun, Mexico, living La Vida Loca for the Cancun Jazz Festival, walking down the street sipping on a pina colada with my homegirl when ....BAM !!! I ran into a former highschool classmate. Now, there were rumors about him being a big time dope dealer, but I knew him simply as 19 year old Paul. The skinny, cute kid from my hometown that I had known since Jr. High. For the remainder of the time there he made sure that whatever I wanted, I had. VIP table next to Jay-Z, jetskiing for hours at a time, dinner...you name it. I just so happened to be interning in my hometown that summer, so Paul and I were able to continue seeing each other during the summer. Now, I have to confess that at that time I had a boyfriend and Paul openly told me that he had a girlfriend. I was like, "so what ?". I was 20 and he was 19, we would flirt, make out, eat, ball out of control and then I would head back to school to my boyfriend. So about 2 months into my summer of being stupid, I was on the phone with one of my homeboys and some kind of way Paul's name comes up. Then I hear these words that made me spit out my Dr. Pepper, "Yeah, Paul got married last year. He married old girl that went to Westwood."
WHAT ????
I am an adulterer ????
But, I didn't know !!!
What 19 year old gets married ??? We don't live in Arkansas !!!
So after I calmed myself down, I excused myself from the conversation and immediately paged Paul. (Mind you, this was 1997, and I had a woodgrain pager and he had about 5 different kinds of pagers.) When he called back, I immediately go down a list of things that I had never done in life. I hadn't been to the Bahamas, I hadn't jumped off a cliff, I hadn't been to law school, etc. I ended the conversation with, "and I have never, and will NEVER willingly date a married man...never call me again."
Now, my story is a very mild case of what dating a married man is like. There are more graphic tales that exist and every last one of those stories ended the same way. A lovely, talented, smart and gorgeous woman realizes that path she is on is not going to get her to her desired location and cuts it off. Some heartbroken, some relieved.
Since that summer of 1997, I had two more run ins with married men. One, I took the bar exam with came to pick me up on our first date. I noticed he was outside on the phone a little long. When he came to my door he says, "I'm sorry, I was having an argument with my wife."
YOUR WIFE ???? .....Deuces
The last one....woooo. I almost got caught up in the matrix. This man was the FINEST man I had ever seen in life. He was the cousin of my realtor and anytime I hung out with her, he was there. She always warned me, "PARTY GIRL, now my cousin is going to think you are cute and he is going to try you. DON'T DO IT.... I don't know how he does it, but women just sleep with him. They know he's married, but they don't care." When I tell you I almost got caught up, I almost got CAUGHT UP. We would all go for drinks, he would flirt with me, he was fine, the LIQ was flowing, he was fine, his family (yes, his family) would try to push me off on him. I knew I wasn't safe hanging with them, so I called my reinforcement.
"GOOFY GIRL and SUNSHINE GIRL....I am on the verge of having an emotional affair. Talk me out of it."
....and as simple as my request was, they talked me out of it. I explained to the Finest Dude on Earth that I could no longer hang around him, because the flesh is weak and his ass is so fine, it should be against the law !!
About four months later, my realtor calls me to chit chat and she informs me that Finest Dude on Earth just had a baby.
SCUM BUCKET !!!
But that nigga was FINE...wooooo he was FINE !!!
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