As an avid music lover, I always remember when a particular song and/or album came out because I instantaneously associate it with a particular time in my life.
Man In The Mirror by Michael Jackson = Fifth Grade
I Will Always Love You by Troop = Eighth Grade
You Put a Move on My Heart by Tamia = Freshman Year of College
Make Em Say Uhhhhh by Master P = Junior Year of College
You Don't Know Me by T.I. = First Year out of Law School
I can hear a song and it will bring back so many memories of dancing with friends, being mad at my mother, road tripping, chilling in my aunt's back yard or making out with an ex-boyfriend in my mother's car. More times than not, these songs always bring a smile to my face and I scream out, "Girrrrllllll this was 7th Grade, Westside Highschool Dance when I danced with that FINE 9th grader." However, not all music brings back good memories and I am woman enough to admit that India Arie's "Voyage to India" has NOT been played by me since 2003. That's right, I issued an ex parte moratorium on this particular album.
Let me paint the picture for you regarding this album and the events surrounding it. I was nearing the end of my 3L Year as a law student, preparing for the MPRE (Ethics portion of the Bar Exam) and also preparing for a legal conference held for entertainment attorneys. I opened my very first credit card to pay for the trip, because I just KNEW I would have a job in 8 months to easily pay it back...HA !!!! Anywho, for five days in Cancun, Mexico I was really there by myself. I had a roommate for the trip. She was a student at another law school in the city but this was my first time meeting her. She was a very personable and chatty young lady, we instantly hit it off and instantly realized we once dated the same guy (Cocky Fine Bastard).
I attended many of the seminars, but more importantly I went off by myself and laid on the beach with my study materials, listening to India Arie and just being in awe of the beauty of the beach, weather and my future. On this Voyage to India album, she sang of knowing how "God Is Real" by the magnificent waters she jumped into in St. Lucia, she sang of the "Beautiful Surprise" she received from a man who just came into her life with love out of nowhere, she sang about "The Little Things" of her little sister calling and singing happy birthday to her. This album was pure. This album was light. It reflected exactly where I was in my life. I was a hopeful visionary, eagerly anticipating everything that was about to be given to me.
Upon my return to law school, I kept Ms. Arie and Voyage to India in my constant rotation. I continued my studies, I worked, I partied, I prayed, I dreamnt, I graduated from law school and I fell in love.
"Damn India...how did you know all of this about me ??"
Everything she sang about reflected what was happening with me. It was all gerber daisies, butterflies, chocolate and sunshine. The firm I clerked for kept me on staff, so I had a job. My social life was thriving because I had successfully taken the bar exam and was back on the social scene (as if I had left, huh ?). I was about to go see my boo and he expressed his love for me prior to my getting on the plane. I had everything I wanted, including my India Arie CD. I was singing and dancing India Arie into the next phase of my life ....
That was until EVERYTHING came to a screeching halt. I lost my job, the boyfriend I was madly in love with broke up with me and I had no money. It went dark....real fast...real hard and with NO warning. You all have heard of this before.
Who in the hell can listen to India Arie singing about being "Headed In The Right Direction" when you don't know what the hell is going on or where the hell you even are ? Who in the hell can listen to "The One" when the one you thought you had thought otherwise ? So with that said, I subconciously took it out on Ms. India and never played her album again. I couldn't. I would hear the intro to one of the songs from this album and IMMEDIATELY change the radio station. I kid you not, for 6 years I never listened to this CD.
THIS BITCH SOLD ME A DREAM !!!!
Well, today is a new day. It's pretty outside. Not only did I pass that bar exam, I passed another one and waived into another jurisdiction. I moved to the city of my dreams and I purchased my first home. My social life is thriving and I am exploring new career opportunities. The money could be better, but I think I am "Heading In the Right Direction". I have a New Guy Friend and everything is still going well. He is definitely a "Good Man" to me, and I appreciate him. I made myself available to an available man for the first time in 6 years. Talk about growth !!
So...as I got up this morning to clean and take care of minimal work (it's Friday for goodness sakes) I started digging in my CD crates and look who I found ? My good friend India Arie's "Voyage to India".
Time to face the music PARTY GIRL...
Ironically, I am on her track "Complicated Melody" now.
Yes, I ended the moratorium and pressed PLAY. I realized that fear of returning to that period of being let down in so many ways kept me from being able to listen to it. It's time to face fears and move on in every aspect of my life. So I choose to keep the music playing on this soundtrack of life, even if I had to take a small break.
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