Conspiracy Theory #6754

It is CONSTANTLY cringe time when, at a nightclub or event, the DJ does his obligatory shout out to "all the independent women out there, who make they own money, drive they own car, pay they own rent, you don't need no man to help you with shit....make some MUTHAFREAKIN nooooiiiisssseee"....

Then the screams would ensue, ladies hands holding white zinfandel would be thrown into the air, cheap wine spilled on my shoes and a bunch of freakin lies hurled into the night's aura. I HATE THE SHOUT OUTS TO INDEPENDENT WOMEN !!! Whether it's from Ne-yo, Lil Boosie, Jamie Foxx, Destiny's Child or DJ Kool, it's all a crock of shit to me.

I honestly think most men make these songs to manipulate women to get out of their pockets.

I would say about 12 of the 15 GIRLS closest to me are truly "independent women" and let me tell you, that shit ain't cute. When the ceiling leaks, we are responsible for having it fixed. When the mortgage is due, we are the ones clicking the set up payment button via online banking. When the trash needs to be taken out, car needs to go to the shop, gas needs to be pumped....you guessed it... we are the ones doing it for ourselves. Let me be the FIRST one to say, I ain't putting my hands up at no party celebrating this shit....it's for the birds.

In having conversations with THE GIRLS I have come to learn this: We can do it for ourselves and have been pretty successful with it, but damn, can a sister get some assistance.

Now, let me keep it one hunnit. We all have boos (current and exes) who understand that the trash needs to go out, the car may need to be washed, the big ass TV in the dining room needs to be put in the basement. THE GIRLS appreciate the small tokens of manly affection shown by being available to do those things for us, respectively. However, I think its the consistency of having your man, your HUSBAND there to assume the very same gender role that some feminists have fought to erase is what we are all striving for.

CHATTY GIRL, who is also a Doctor, just recently purchased a 2,400 square foot home in Florida. The house has spacious landscaping and a pool. Immediately after she closed on her new home, she and SUNSHINE GIRL went to the home to take a look around and speak with the previous owners. After taking a tour of her newly purchased home, the previous owner, a 60+ year old man says to CHATTY and SUNSHINE, "I need to speak with the man of the house about some things." CHATTY informs the man that it is just her who will be living there, no man... just her. The man then states, "Yeah, I understand that... but where is the man who will be taking care of everything around the house, I NEED to speak to the man...where's the man ?"

I found his badgering of CHATTY to be extremely funny, yet enlightening. Should CHATTY have waited until she was married before she purchased a home ? ABSOLUTELY NOT ! However, she now has to be and do everything Ne-Yo, Lil Boosie, Jamie Foxx, etc. love about her and the rest of THE GIRLS. But they, and the rest of these chicken heads who ain't even "independent" can go somewhere with glorification of a woman who "don't need no man".

On behalf of myself and the rest of THE GIRLS:

MEN...WE NEED YOU !!****

**** = only if you have a job, car, benefits, no baby mama drama, good credit, you know how to lay pipe (literally and figuratively) and you can make a lady laugh.....ahahahah