Oh ! The Pressure....

I forwarded some pictures of myself and PUT TOGETHER GIRL to my family the other day. It's not too often that BOTH my hair and face are made up, so I felt the need to share the pretty. I received the below email from my aunt this morning.

Dear Niece PARTY GIRL,

You all looked fantastic!!! I know there has to be some takers for all that beauty that you have. Are you approachable?

Love,
Your Aunt

About every other month or so I get some line of questioning from either my mother, aunt and/or grandfather about whether or not I am dating, if I have any prospects, am I acting in accordance of even being able to attract a man, etc. Instead of cringing, I now laugh it off or simply act as if I did not hear their questions.

***LIGHTBULB MOMENT***

I just now realized that I am exhibiting the same overbearing behavior of my mother, aunt and grandfather to my MFs (Male Friends). Ok, I will stop trying to push them to seriously dating and marriage. That shit is annoying !!!

***END OF LIGHTBULB MOMENT***

I don't know when it happened, but I venture to estimate that somewhere around my 29th or 30th birthday my mother turned into an overbearing Jewish/Italian mother. You know the type. All of the women on Sex and The City that tried to hook up the newly single Charlotte with their sons, Ray Romano's mother, Sheila Broflovski, Kyle's mom, from South Park, you get the point. Currently my mother attempts to hook me up with guys that work in her office. She's even making statements to her sister's such as,"I guess I'll be 99 when I FINALLY become a grandmother. PARTY GIRL is just taking her time with this marriage and baby stuff...sheesh."

Let me note for the record, since High School, I have introduced my mother to only 2 of my boyfriends. Also, my entire family has only met 1 of my boyfriends. This mass introduction of said boyfriend happened in 2003 at my Law School graduation and I vowed to NEVER introduce another guy to my family. Why you may ask ?

MY FAMILY GETS ENTIRELY TOO ATTACHED !!!

Maybe it was because I was 25 and my entire family never had a chance to meet any of my previous boyfriends because we live in different states. Maybe my family got too attached because my boyfriend, at that time, was the best thing next to the coming of Jesus. Like I said, AT THAT TIME. Who knows ? However, after we broke up, I got sick and tired of all of the "what happened" and "are you two back together" questions. Equally disturbing was the "I never liked that punk any way" statements from my mother, and the "You want me to go beat that nigga up" statement from my brother. I have to note that my brother is an entire foot shorter than the ex, but Big Bro was willing to get a 2x4 block of wood for assistance. Gotta love the Big Brother.

I was having a conversation with THE GIRLS about the appropriate time to introduce your new boo/boyfriend/man to your family. I was surprised to hear that most of THE GIRLS preferred to introduce the men in their lives to their families early on in their relationships so the family members could feel the men out. Here it is, I won't even mention a name of a boo to my mother or aunt until after I break up with the guy, yet, SUNSHINE GIRL tells her family about ALL of the guys she is dating at the time.

I made it up in my mind that my family would not meet another man I was dating until we were talking marriage. This position was quickly challenged by THE GIRLS and I have slowly but surely reconsidered my previous stance.

I don't know, maybe THE GIRLS are right. I mean, and this may be a horrible example, but look at Kandi and her mother from RHOA. Her mother just KNEW that something was not right about Kandi's relationship with AJ. Her main concern was, "If something happens to you, all them baby mamas gone be looking at Kandi and her money to support ALL them kids you got." Mama knew....

CAREBEAR GIRL met her man's family once they decided to start a family, though she instantaneously told them about him after about 2 weeks of dating. PUT TOGETHER GIRL met one of her boo's family at Thanksgiving Dinner last year. FASHIONISTA GIRL met her man's family during his birthday weekend festivities last year, almost at the 10 month mark. CHATTY GIRL met her man's family near the 3 month mark once she visited him in his hometown. BEST ALL AROUND GIRL just met her boo's family after dating him for about 11 months. She even took some collard greens over as a peace offering.

And then there is me. I met NGF's family in a non-formal setting and it almost freaked me out. He phoned me one day and invited me to his aunt's house for a gathering they were having. I immediately called THE GIRLS, freaking out. "GIRL, he just invited me to his aunt's house. I know how they get down. The whole damn family is going to be there. I don't think I am ready for this. We have only been dating for like three months...AND they are Jamaican. Am I going to be over there acting like I like all the reggae and stuff they are going to be playing when I can only take 3 songs at a time ? Hell..I can't even speak Patois !!"

I ended up going and taking one of my girls for support. When we left, my girl says to me, "Girl you just met the WHOLE DAMN family. I'm talking about mama, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, nieces, cousins, godmother's.....damn ! I can't even get a date !"

As the holidays approach, I was met with questions from about 5 of THE GIRLS. Are you going to introduce NGF to your family when they come up for Thanksgiving Dinner ? I replied, "If things are still going well, I may invite him over for dinner to meet them." All of this coming from a girl who can't even tell her family that she is actively dating.

Jesus be the Press Release that needs to be issued... SOON.... so as to not give my family a heart attack when this 6'5 / 250 pound man walks into my house expecting his plate to be fixed at Thanksgiving.